pineconedust:

it’s so crazy to think about… but I had always heard that quote “love is putting someone else’s happiness before your own”, and in all my past relationships it was never like that, so I just started to think “well, I suppose that quote just doesn’t apply to me..”
and now, now that I’m in my…

it’s so crazy to think about… but I had always heard that quote “love is putting someone else’s happiness before your own”, and in all my past relationships it was never like that, so I just started to think “well, I suppose that quote just doesn’t apply to me..”
and now, now that I’m in my current relationship, that quote has come true. I want him to be happy before myself. If I can’t smile that day, it’ll make me content to just see a smile on his face. I would fly to the moon and back just to see his eyes light up like they do when he smiles.
That’s why I really think this is true love, it sounds so cliche for a 16 year old girl to be saying that, but I swear it’s real.
We’re young, but this is real.　 

Pastels

You lean into me and our foreheads meet.

Our golden flesh tones blend to create and orange blur of colour where we touch.

As easily as possible I lift my eyelids, just in time to meet your eyes mirroring my actions.

Then, the moment our glances pass tracks I can’t help but to stare.

It seems like my thoughts have collapsed into my spine, cold, trickling down my vertebrae into the pit o my stomach.

I’m left thinking silently to myself, what a predicament I’ve gotten myself into, then out loud, at a voice just loud enough for you to hear I say “I love you”.

Your eyes get as bright as if there was a comet flying through the room.

There was then a magnet placed on either side of us and that sparkle in your eyes called me in, so we leaned closer to one another.

Our noses touched and I looked down just in time to see your lips say “I love you”, and I heard your heart say it.

In a pink smudge our lips touched in the warmest possible way.

There was something in that moment like the warm coloured pastels, the ones the shade of orange sherbet, banana pudding, and the inside of strawberries.

Something that just reminds of cold winter nights when you’re curled up under the thick cotton blankets.

I’ve never experienced something more perfect.

he’s 40 minutes away.
god I’m so excited.
but I’m sorry to say that while I’m at the beach I wont be able to blog because my mom has my laptop for right now :(
please, don’t unfollow me, and inform other people of why I’m not blogging, I’ll try to fill up my queue, but idk how long it’ll last :b 

So..
my best friend/kinda-sorta boyfriend went to the beach on Sunday and will be gone all spring break until next Sunday.
well yesterday he was complaining that he was just going to come home because wasn’t having any fun without me. so I got to thinking.
I asked my parents if I could go if I had a ride, after hours of begging, they said yes.
now, my boo is driving 5 hours to come back and get me, then we’re driving 5 hours back to the beach.
I’m so excited, just me and him, on a five hour car ride, smoking newports, and singing loud with the windows down.
then when we get to the beach I get to spend 5 whole days with him.
walk down the beach with him.
sit on the balcony and watch the waves.
this is going to be the best 5 days of my life, I can feel it. 

my grades aren’t dropping because of my damn laptop.
my grades are dropping because I have depression, I cant focus, I don’t care anymore… about anything.
dad, you weren’t in the principal’s office today with me and mom, so you can’t lecture me about “disrespect”, because I said nothing and did nothing disrespectful.
you’re an ass. 

well, star is moving in with me for a bit.<3
it’ll either go great…
or horribly terrible. 

sooooo, I:

• haven’t eaten since Friday at 12 at school, and that was a few potato wedges.
• I haven’t slept since Friday night, and that was 3 hours.
• the only thing I’ve drank since Friday morning was a bottle of water, and a cup of sweet tea.

I’ve had cotton mouth so bad for the last two days straight that my tongue actually hurts from being so dry.

I’m going to waste my day away on Tumblr today until my best friend Brandon gets off work at around 6… so after saturday school(gets out at 12:30) I’ll be on here reblogging like theirs no tomorrow<3 I’m in such a great mood I wish you guys could just understand.
I love every one of my followers so so so much, I don’t know what ever drew you to my blog but I’m SO happy that you guys like it, I wish I knew all of you in person.
sorry for all the text posts, I’m in a talkative mood…
but you guys should message me and such while I’m at saturday school? so I have something to look forward to when I get home? 

you guys don’t understand how happy I am :)
this might sound nerdy or ridiculous to some of you, but my life feel SO darn complete right now!!
I just learned how to use an iPhone 4 through Straighttalk… <3
for those of you not in america or something, straight talk is a pre-paid phone service that is the absolute best. it’s $45 a month for unlimited talk, text, and internet. I’e never had a problem with service for it… and now I can get an iPhone on it.
I’m the happiest girl alive right now, I officially know what I’m saving up for…
(I am participating in a give-away on here right now that ends on the 20th and hopefully I’ll get it so I get the iPhone, that way I’ll only have to pay for a sim card.
god I can’t explain how happy I am!!! 

I have everything planned out:

• graduate high school.
• go to community college for a year while saving up money and looking at cheap apartments near Baltimore.
• move to Baltimore and attend John Hopkins University.
• rent an apartment and live with one of my friends, so we can split rent.
• major in psychology.
• graduate John Hopkins. 
• do my paid internship in Chicago.
• use that money to start paying off a loft in Lincoln Park, Chicago.
• live happily in my artsy loft.

be honest… do I have my hopes set too high?

My depression is smacking me in the face right now and I need someone else’s input on this…..

I’ve seen way too many love movies in my lifetime and they have ruined me.

now, I look at me and my best friend, and I think “in all the movies the best friends always end up together and they’re soul mates, and I do love him with all my heart and everyone says we’re precious and perfect, we’re gunna end up together” and since I have that thought in my head it’s kinda like… idk, it messes stuff up?

it’s like, we’re in a relationship and not JUST friends, but idk if I want that or not…

I’m scared that I do, I’m scared he’s my soul mate.

what if he is?

I’m falling in love with a girl.

I am bisexual, but I’ve never felt emotionally attached to a girl before, it was normally all physical attraction. but this is different.

I didn’t intend for it to be like, but I’m crazy about her, I can think about her at absolutely any time and I will smile.

She has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen, and her eyes can make my heart stop. When she hugs me I never want it to end, I can feel that she wants to hold on too. I’ve wanted to kiss her for the longest time now, but I want it to be perfect.

I just want to be with her, lately I haven’t wanted to be with ANYBODY. but with her? to be with her I would give up my sanity. I haven’t felt this way in… well… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way. and that means a lot because lately I haven’t had many emotions and I haven’t been able to tell the difference in attractive and emotion. so to feel like this, to feel like I would give up my entire world for one girl, to feel like I want her for the rest of my life, to feel the butterflies in my stomach at the mention of her name, to feel all of this is a shocker, it’s something completely new.

I want this.